Let me offer a bit of levity to take your mind off having to stay home all day and watch television. Oh you aren’t? Shame on you. For the first time ever Americans have been asked to help save the country by turning into TV-watching couch potatoes. We must not screw this up!

But first, and this will bring us to a couple of anecdotes. Some of you know El Paso Inc. has been in the throes of moving from our location on Porfirio Diaz. In my experience construction always takes longer than you think and so it is with the remodel on our new Noble Street address Downtown.

With many staffers working from home, it has been a disaster switching our telephone lines to the new location. Our phones are on an internet fiber trunk and the best we could do is have the main line forwarded to a cell phone that is being passed around among staffers. You cannot get through directly to any El Paso Inc. department or extension. We regret the inconvenience, but it looks like we will have to live with this for a couple of weeks.

So while others were working from home Secret Wherrett and I were left to clear the dregs from our building on Porfirio Diaz. That included some World War II style desks, old bookcases and wooden cubicles probably built in a stable and weighing in at several hundred pounds.

With the help of a couple of off-duty firemen, we decided to simply drag this stuff into the parking lot to see what would happen. It wasn’t long before we had a couple of cars circling, then trucks, then families. Seems like every time we walked back into the building something else was gone. We were having so much luck with the big pieces we decided to go for the small stuff.

At one point, Secret put an Apple computer monitor in the parking lot and atop an ancient bookcase. When she came back out of the building with more items, the bookcase was gone and the monitor was on the ground. Next trip the monitor was gone. Later the same day an old TV cabinet appeared – we have no idea where it came from. I was worried about that piece since it was shaped to accommodate old-style TVs and now it was our responsibility.

I need not have been concerned. By the end of last weekend even the ancient silk geraniums were gone, not to mention seven pallets I was planning to move to our print shop. It was the ultimate recycling program, and I am glad someone found a use for all that stuff.

Then a curious thing happened Monday as we were carting out the last remnants of our 20 years in that location. We heard a woman screaming hysterically from one of the nearby houses in Sunset Heights. Secret agreed the woman was clearly in extreme distress. So, as a Texas DPS certified License to Carry instructor, I knew immediately what to do – I called the cops!

I must say, three patrol cars responded in no time. After getting no answer at the front door, they went around to the back and banged on that door, hands on pistols.

They entered the house and after about 10 minutes emerged looking somewhat sheepish.

“Is everything OK?” I asked.

“Just a young couple having a little too much fun,” one officer responded.

We’ll get back to more serious stuff next week. Meantime stay home and stay safe.

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